Chapters 3 & 4

Chapter 3 – Divisions Erected Out of Thin Air:  

In this chapter, Cleveland speaks about categorizing people as helpful. She states, “categorizing helps us all to process information in an energy-efficient way.” As she continues on with this section she discusses how spending time in a different culture can be stressful because we do not know the social cues. I can agree with this, no doubt. An example would be my freshman year, I was rooming with an international student here on campus. This student was from South Korea and as we were roommates, we spent quite a bit of time together, getting to know each other and understanding each-others cultures. While I didn’t necessarily feel stressed, I felt very uncomfortable at times. Two examples for instance; one, she made me some Korean food one day and was very worried that I hated it because I was not making a slurping sound. This made her uncomfortable because the slurping sound is a sign that it tastes good. At the same time it made me uncomfortable because as she slurped away all that ran through my mind was how noisy and annoying the sound was. This is a difference in cultures. The other example would be when I brought both her and another international student home with me over thanksgiving my freshman year. While I was slowly learning their culture, my family knew nothing. We encountered many uncomfortable situations where the girls would want to sleep all the time and made us late to each of the family events. They had it in the back of their mind that being late was a good thing, show up late and leave late, they thought. However, that isn’t how my family goes about things. While this is just some minor examples, I can see where Cleveland is coming from by saying that categorizing helps. It has helped me interact with other international students and have positive outcomes from the experiences and I am much more comfortable now. However, just as Cleveland said that categorizing helps, it can also hurt. Just as well, categorizing the international students has hurt me. I started to assume that all of the Asian students spoke Korean and had the same cultures. That is not true at all, they are all from different places such as the Philippines and Thailand. They do not all speak Korean and they do not all have the same culture. While categorizing these students was helpful in times, it also put me in awkward situations when I assumed they would be like my roommate. If you have ever spoken Korean to a student from the Philippines, you might understand where I am coming from. Taking that one step further, on a larger scale with all students attending Dordt, categorizing them as believers and knowing God can hurt not only us but them as well. I assumed my roommate knew and believed in God, I came to find out that I was wrong. Some students come to Dordt to learn and hear for themselves about God. Assuming everyone believes is cutting those that do not believe short. This is where categorizing hurts. However, this has allowed me to be better about not categorizing based on something such as religion but instead recognizing others as fellow members of the body of Christ. While categorizing seems to come natural at times, I think in the long run it is best not to and to instead get to know people on an individual basis.

Chapter 4 – Beyond Perceptions:

 Getting into this chapter the piece that stood out to me the most was Cleveland’s description of the gold standard. We create perceptions of ourselves and of other groups which affect how we interact with others. We pick out the differences between ourselves and others and tend to exaggerate them. So, why do we do this? Is it because of the familiarity Cleveland discussed in the previous chapters? While I wish I could say I have not done these things before, I know that cannot be said. Creating these perceptions and pinpointing differences has hindered how I interact with others. Leading right back to categorization, I have a tendency to group others together and make assumptions. Just the other day some of my friends and I were having a discussion about religions. I grew up Lutheran and the others in the discussion are all reformed. We talked about the differences between Christian Reformed and Reformed and then moved onto Lutheran. Cleveland mentioned communion in the book and this conversation came to mind. My home church does communion on a weekly basis. This came up in our conversation and they made a comment about my church being closely related to the Catholic’s because of how we do communion. I responded in a bit of a defensive matter as my best friend back home is Catholic and we have picked out differences before but never the way we “do” communion. However, in reading this chapter, Cleveland really made me think about this conversation and how it was natural in a sense for them to set a category or gold standard for themselves based on a practice. I realize that this is done much more often than we may think. So, why do we do it?

Chapters 1 & 2

Chapter 1 – Right Christian, Wrong Christian:

As Christena opens the book with a description of an individual she is bothered by, she begins to categorize those individuals that she meets. Following the title of the chapter, she explains the right Christians and the wrong Christians. She sorted out the “Bens” and avoided them at all costs. Yet, just before this she explained her walk with God and how everyone is family and none of the details mattered under God. Somehow her growth in Christ changed along the way. This is not at all unusual. I have talked to individuals who have also had changes and different experiences which have affected their growth in Jesus Christ, I too have had bumps in the road. While Christena should not have been dividing people up into right and wrong, I think this is something that happens more often than we think. Within each denomination, Christians have different thoughts or views. So, which is right? We can each argue for our denomination and say that others are wrong but where is the line drawn? Is there truly a right and a wrong? Christena continued by describing this right and wrong, putting herself in the seat of the right Christian. Matthew 7:1-5 tells us not to judge others. While I appreciated, that Christena realized that “many of us carry our own descriptions of Right Christian and Wrong Christian,” who are we to judge others?

Towards the end of chapter 1 there was a section on a young man, Sam, whom Christena became close friends with. Halfway through the summer with him, Christena realized he did not know she was a Christian. This made me think about my friends, at a Christian school, everyone assumes that we are all Christians. However, I went to a public high school and I now wonder how long did it take people to realize that I was a Christian? While all of my friends knew, I am sure there are many students at the school who did not know which students were Christians. This sort of scares me and makes me question what difference the Christians in my school, including myself, could have made on those individuals who don’t know Christ. Back to the book, Sam’s response to finding out Christena is a Christian came as a shock. He was not thrilled at all. He had a completely different perspective on what it means to be a Christian. How many other individuals have this same or similar false perspective?

Chapter 2 – How Divisions Aare Killing Us And Why We Should Care

Moving into the second chapter, Christena hit on a point that stood out to me very much. She said how we support diversity and inequality and yet we are found sticking to what we know and not venturing out. I could not agree with her more on this. I whole heartedly believe that integration is a great thing. However, I always find myself doing homework and spending time with other white females and males which often have the same or similar major as I do. It is not something do on purpose it is merely how we congregate. I would argue I am not alone here, if you take a look at students in apartments here on Dordt’s campus, students congregate. You find rooms of ag majors, education majors, rooms of all African Americans or Koreans, further yet, the athletes tend to do just the same. We get stuck in a rut and do not want to venture out.

One last piece that stood out to me was the idea of affirmation. When others like my ideas, agree with me, or have similar beliefs, I feel much more comfortable and relatable. Experiences like these and affirmation bring people together in such a way that it is what we become used to. I enjoy the unity that is formed by these ideas which Christena discusses. Through familiarity and affirmation, bonds are formed in a great way. Yet, while this is an experience for all, it makes it that much harder for individuals to step out of that comfort zone and embrace the difference amongst others around us.