Chapters 6 & 7

Chapter 6 –

The reality that Cleveland hits on within this book continues to dig deeper and it is a scary thought some of the things that not only others do but I do as well. It is difficult and even shameful to admit the truths she covers and the fact that I can unfortunately say I have done every piece she discusses. Cleveland covers self-biases and how we partake in activities which make us shine. She isn’t wrong here. I know for a fact that more times than not I am much more willing to get others to do activities with me that I perform well at. While these tend to be activities that I enjoy or love, looking back I know that this has been a self-esteem boost for me when others don’t do as well as I can. Yet, that is where the bias comes in. We perceive ourselves as being better many times and if we fail we find something wrong with another that brings us right back up. So, we are either great or the another is terrible. It’s a win, win situation that we deal with in all walks of life unfortunately. How do we overcome this, putting others down to bring ourselves up? Cleveland mentions simply affirming ourselves. No matter if it is unrelated to whatever is being threatened and bringing you down, this still results in a self-esteem boost. I believe it is even more important as we grow and mature that we find other ways to boost our self-esteem. We are all one in Jesus Christ and no matter our biases, it is important to find that unity amongst each other and not drag others down for our own benefit.

Chapter 7 –

Shifting over from self-esteem and self-biases over to a group setting, Cleveland uses some great examples to prove that something such as football or a kid’s camp can turn into something very different rather quickly. While the two football teams had football between them and the kid’s at camp didn’t even know each other, both scenarios started as “groups who have no history of negative interaction” and transformed into “antagonistic when the goals became important enough.” These situations are noticeable in many aspects not only here at college but also growing up, elementary through high school. It is especially noticeable in athletics, however, in many competitions it has been apparent to me. We lose sight of what really matters and start doing whatever we can to bring the opposing group down simply because “we are better”. This is true in the Church just the same. Coming to a Reformed school and growing up Lutheran, I have noticed a considerable amount of flack being pushed towards me. Just the same, I have noticed that the minorities here whether that be Lutheran, Baptist, Catholic, Non-Denominational and so on have pushed right back. We are all one in Christ! Yet, we hold ourselves, our groups, or in this case, our denomination above the others. We make it out as though we are the golden standard and others are wrong or below us. Cleveland asks the question, “what now?” Well, how do we define “we”? Why do “we” limit ourselves and categorize ourselves? This brings us back to her first few chapters, it is difficult to overcome but integration and diversifying “our” groups is a step that should be taken. This will further allow us to bring about an inclusive identity and understand that other groups can help us. We must first allow ourselves to open up and receive critical information and change ourselves, creating a common membership in Christ. 

Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Running for Cover:  

Cleveland is really hitting the spot with this book. She continues to build off herself as the book continues. This chapter wrapped the previous four chapters altogether in a way that explained how each piece affects how we perceive ourselves. As Cleveland discussed self-esteem and the bits and pieces which go into how we view ourselves or how we believe others view us, the affects of thoughtless situations began to shine through. I really enjoyed a quote in the book from John Eldredge and Brent Curtis which read, “Your evaluation of your soul, which is drawn from a world filled with people still terribly confused about the nature of their souls, is probably wrong.” This quote was utilized very well within the chapter. The problem is that from a very young age, while we appreciated the praise and affirmation from those around us, those things did not stick with us. We begin to hold onto the negatives and let those affect us. This harms our self-image and identity. By surrounding ourselves with others who affirm who we are, they too can help us to defend those negative assaults that have stuck with us and we are holding onto. Just as individuals can have a low self-esteem, they can have a high self-esteem. This too is not a good situation. The book used the example of teams, “if we perceive that we are better than our fellow group members, we are more likely to want to upgrade to a higher-status group. Both situations are prevalent in the Church. This hinders the body of Christ. When it becomes more important for us as individuals to feel good about ourselves and less important to embrace others who are members of the body of Christ. We are not living our lives to glorify God. It is very difficult to find that happy medium, however, it is important to do so. Our experiences and what we have heard or been told from a very young age has shaped who we are today. Those with negative experiences that have brought them down and those with positive experiences that have lifted them far above being humble, I hope that all individuals can be brought to a level in the middle. This can assist us in making sure that Christ is the center of it all.